For Mr. P ~ and the other gearheads on this board

john_kidder

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Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets

Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
 

Graham

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West R Lee

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John,

Speaking of golf, I thought I'd mention the few "Greatest Caddy Comebacks" I can remember.

Golfer: "You have to be the worst caddy in the world!" Caddy: "Can't be sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!"

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually"

Golfer: Would you stop looking at you watch, you're making me nervous!" Caddy: "That's not a watch sir, it's a compass!"

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to make this shot" Caddy: "You might try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "I don't care for this course!" Caddy: "This is City Park sir, we left the golf course an hour ago."

:D West
 

Mr. P ~

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Re: For Mr. ~P and the other gearheads on this board

john_kidder said:
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

This is the one I live by!!
 

john_kidder

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Re: For Mr. ~P and the other gearheads on this board

john_kidder said:
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

And I've been in way too many technology companies where this is the guiding principle.
 

Mr. P ~

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Re: For Mr. ~P and the other gearheads on this board

john_kidder said:
[quote="john_kidder":86a33]Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

And I've been in way too many technology companies where this is the guiding principle.[/quote:86a33]

Oh How True!!

My first boss had a couple of pins that he gave away, both were bright Yellow with words in black in Old English font. Both were his mantra's, one said Bullshit (what he thought about most audio breakthroughs) and the other said K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid).

Most of those Techno Junkie Engineers that love the complex systems change their minds about technology by the time they are in their 60's!!!!
:roll:
 
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