I am a couch professional

And it is debilitating at times (afterthought of reading a forum on AGF). My personality can get the better of me and hold me back from playing in front of people. In college, I was in a band with a buddy and we worked through several songs in our dorm – came time to play at an open mic and I came down with a “blue flu”, couldn’t manage to get up there and play.

I have been playing in a new band (just me and another guy) and we got a good number of songs down pat. I play lead acoustic guitar so there is no real way for me to sit in the back and just relax with the groove. I guess I am looking for words of encouragement from you seasoned guys on how you initial got over the stage fright? I know that it is not a competition; I get uncomfortable when I see people who are playing and are nervous; kind of feel bad for them. I do not want this to be the case with me when we play out….

The only people I have played in front of would be my wife, jam buddy from school, this new guy, and the guy who walks into the acoustic room at GC and hears a bit before I notice him and stop playing.

Get a lightly clad, good looking female vocalist and nobody will pay any attention to you. :lol:

George

You sound like me! I finally broke the "spell" about 10 years ago, playing guitar in a small jazz/R&B band at the school where I teach. I played rhythm and a few solos, very very nervous, but being with other people helped a lot. I am now much more comfortable (still doing it), but admittedly still a little nervous.

The bigger step for me was playing at an open mic a few years ago - I thought I was going to pass out!! Adding the addition of singing really spooked me. But again, over time, I got over it. The last time I did it, I was still very nervous, but able to overcome it easily - a big step forward for me.

I still have never played for family members, etc. - still scared, I guess! But I will eventually, it's crazy to feel this way...

Here is a link for a guitarist/teacher/"coach" named Tom Hess - I don't know much about him, but his web site is pretty good with lessons, ides, etc. The article below is particularly useful for your "nervous" issues. I really felt is was helpful for me. I hope you enjoy it! and good luck!

http://tomhess.net/Articles/PlayingLive ... rHead.aspx


walrus

There's this guy named Jose' Cuervo that's been known to help.

rampside said:

There's this guy named Jose' Cuervo that's been known to help.

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I've been known to turn to him in times of need, and with a name like Jose', what could go wrong? 8)

Jose'

rampside said:

There's this guy named Jose' Cuervo that's been known to help.

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I've been known to turn to him in times of need, and with a name like Jose', what could go wrong? 8)

Jose'[/quote]

Good point Jose'. :wink:

I don't know what works for others but I've found that if I over learn the songs so that I can play them without thinking it removes one item from the list of things to be afraid of. When you know the songs inside out you can play with the crowd instead of for them. Playing in church with people singing along is very comforting also.
Finally, it's supposed to be fun. You're going to screw up once in a while. If you can accept your screw ups with good humor, chances are your audience will too. But, if you go through life being afraid to make a fool of yourself you're going to miss a whole lot of good times. When I play at nursing homes and screw up the chords I sing extra loud and when I forget the words I make believe I'm banging out a solo and animate my strumming. Look like you're having fun. Fake it till you make it. Start out with the easiest song you know so you can get the jitters out early. Imagine the audience is only wearing their underwear.
That reminds me of the time I was playing at a reunion at Dartmouth College and there were gigantic tents set up all over campus. While we were playing a dog strolled in to our tent and urinated on my mike stand. After that everything went just fine.
Hope this helps.

rampside said:

There's this guy named Jose' Cuervo that's been known to help.

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And if he comes on too strong there's another guy, Bud Weiser.
It helps to practice with Bud a bit, though, so you get used to him.
Heck, I don't have a problem doing the solo "chords and singing thing" in a park, it's casual, but man, put me in front of a "paying" audience and gimme a solo, yeah, I still get nervous, want it to be "perfect". Maybe another thing to remember is that most people in an audience won't even realize you're making any mistakes. I think musicians in genereal are much more self-critical than the audience is, because we know where we're not doing what we meant to do. The audience normally won't recognize small errors that could be technical "accidentals", they're probably more aware of bad rhythm or offkey singing.
I'm still kind of in awe of guys in bands for whom, I guess, the whole stress level is probably about the same as walking down a staircase. Lets 'em concentrate a lot harder on what they're playing.
Try busking in a corner of a park or a boardwalk, that's kinda what I did. People can take it or leave it, and when they stop for a while to listen it's a tremendous confidence builder. :wink:

Like anything, the more you do something the easier it gets. I don't play out often as I'd like and so I still get nervous and stumble maybe the first couple songs but like griehund said, over-learn the songs. Be prepared as muscle memory will get you through those akward times. Take several slow deep breaths before going on and during each nervous period, that really helps me.... alot. What helps me too is I fake people into thinking I'm comfortable..... that is, when I perform I'll make myself sing louder and play harder all with more enthusiasm than when I practice. Try to smile and laugh. And if I forget a chord or verse I've noticed that 99.9% of the audience doesn't catch on or could care less anyway.

The more you do it the easier it gets! But even then...

You should have seen me last year at the LMG II open mic. I screwed up the words to my own original song! I just kept playin' and smiling and nobody even realized it. (That's the beauty of playing originals!)

We'll look forward to hearing you play at this year's LMG III.

Invite several people to come and play with you. Do that a few times and then invite a few people to come and listen to you play.
Start out with just a few people. Then move up to larger crowds. The more that you gig, the easier it will become.

Just be sure that you know your material very well before you start to play in public.
You will make mistakes but move through them and go on. Don't stop a song if at all possible, just keep going.
You are doing this out of love for the music. Play to the music and not the crowd.

Ravon said:

but like griehund said, over-learn the songs. Be prepared as muscle memory will get you through those akward times.

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Yes yes yes.

Ravon said:

What helps me too is I fake people into thinking I'm comfortable.....[

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I just relaixzed I used to do that to.

Ravon said:

that is, when I perform I'll make myself sing louder and play harder all with more enthusiasm than when I practice.

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In fact I'd even suggest doing it while you practice, and think about being in front of an audience while you're practicing. I'd kinda hype myself into having a kind of, "Can't wait to show this off" attitude. :wink:

Ravon said:

Try to smile and laugh. And if I forget a chord or verse I've noticed that 99.9% of the audience doesn't catch on or could care less anyway.

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You could even sneak it back in later, just do the section over like you wrote it that way..
But best overall is still, "overlearn it": repetition, repetition, repetition. If you make a mistake while practicing just play through it, finish the song and then play the whole damn thing over and over again 'till you get it right without any mistakes, and then once more to make sure you can do it again. Seriously. By the way that's where Bud Weiser was a real "patience asssitant" for me. :lol:
(Ok I'll grant it's ok to practice individual weak sections by themselves to build 'em up, before you string 'em all together)

One thing to remember is that you are probably your own worst critic. People are not paying as much attention to your playing as you fear they are.

:wink:

fronobulax said:

One thing to remember is that you are probably your own worst critic. People are not paying as much attention to your playing as you fear they are.

:wink:

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Agreed. Whenever I've played in front of people and thought I played like total crap, I still got plenty of compliments. Back when I was in high school, I would always get nervous and bomb during public events. Once a year we would go to a local high school band competition between all of the catholic schools, which I, of course, messed up every year. Oddly enough, I never got marked off for playing badly (now the brass guys...that was another story...lol)

Thanks for all the advice, it is comforting knowing that almost everyone went through the "oh crap, oh crap" phases - and still are; guess it is a life long process.

I can get up in front of local planning boards and present cases I have been working on with no sweats, have been televised and didn't even miss a beat. Give me a guitar and someone within earshot and I feel like they are judging my playing and I actually care (of course I know this is not the case). I wish I could drink and play better but there seems to be only one substance that helps the "creative releases" and I have since retired from that game. Booze and guitars just don't mix for me......

I think there comes a time when one has to say F-it and just do it. When we are ready for that open mic, I will eat my beef-stew and grit my teeth like a man. Get up there like I have done this a thousand times and see what comes. :shock:

As they say, life is too short to worry about these kinds of things.

Hey GJM, just revisit the quote in your signature line. It's one of my all-time favorites. I use it all the time. Although it's your wits that may make you a bit jangled at the thought of performance, dulling them with alcohol (or anything else) is bad for your playing. Best, as you say, to just buck up and keep your skills honed, and play.....

And remember this:

I've got a feeling you're a better guitar player than me and singer too... Like you, I spent lots of time in my professional career in front of folks. Always found it natural, but like you, I was ill at ease playing alone in front of folks.

The Texas Hill Country is packed with small restaurant/bar/open mic venues and my dream was to get the courage to play in front of folks. Finding this forum a few years ago was the best thing to happen to me... After meeting some great folks at the LTG I event in October 2007, and playing in front of them at the Yacht Club, I quickly learned that people are supportive and gained confidence. In March 2008, I finally got up the courage to play here at home in a lakeside restaurant. The good folks here on the forum helped me develop a set and gave me feedback on songs I'd post, so although still nervous, I felt much more comfortable. The folks at work all came to support me in my 'debut' and to my surprise, the 'Garden Room' filled up and folks clapped after each song (As Townes VZ would say, "out of kindness I suppose")

I went home with a couple of lessons learned. 1. People want you to succeed. After two or three songs, 2. I opened up some and started talking with them between songs; ad lib some humor etc. which got a conversational tone going. That seemed to put us all at ease. 3. Smiles and 'thank yous' after their courteous applause were well received. A smile means everything IMO. 4. If I flubbed a chord/lyric, I just kept going as though it never happened. (Once you stop, it is hard to recover). Perhaps the most important thing I learned was that 5. heck, I'm an old dude and what do I care anyway? At least I can say I fulfilled a dream! :lol:

These days I play mostly stuff I write with maybe a cover or two thrown in. This is one of the most fun/satisfying things I've ever done. If I miss a lick or lyric, I'm safe because they've never heard this stuff before and I just throw a little interlude in with the basic chords as I regroup, then find a place to continue.

Throw some of your jams out here in the music section and let us hear you. We're pulling for you!!!

kevin the bass man said:

Once a year we would go to a local high school band competition between all of the catholic schools, which I, of course, messed up every year.

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You sabotaged your own band competitions?
Oh waitaminnit, now I get it.... :lol:

The best advice I ever got was from one of the most seasoned performers I ever worked with. I was always stiff and tense on stage and I asked her once how she managed to relax so much that she could even sway and/or move her body to the groove... almost like dancing (you've seen players 'move to the groove'). She said it wasn't relaxing so you could move, it was moving so you could relax. Focus on the groove and when your body 'gets it' you will relax... it's almost impossible not to.

Humor makes a big difference... think of funny/humorous things to say between tunes. Plan them just as you do the songs. Come up with some humorous segways between tunes... that's what the pros do. Plan your set as a whole, not just a song list.

And SMILE! If you like them, they'll like you. Look at different specific individuals in the audience and smile at them now and then.

And finally, it's really kind of an acting gig. At first you may have to ACT like you're confident, composed and in charge, but you'll be amazed at how well it works! You own the room, don't let the room own you.

adorshki said:

kevin the bass man said:

Once a year we would go to a local high school band competition between all of the catholic schools, which I, of course, messed up every year.

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You sabotaged your own band competitions?
Oh waitaminnit, now I get it.... :lol:

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yeah..I had bandfright (oddly enough, I've never had a problem playing in Church, where I was directly in front of people, although in a much looser setting). I haven't had time to attend the Church practice meetings for months (life intervenes ) and I quite miss performing there. It gave me a reason to play bass. I think I've picked my bass up once or twice since I stopped playing at Church.