Sports fans

[5thumbs]

It was the biggest game of the year and the stadium was packed to capacity, standing room only. An elderly gentleman was sitting in a perfect location on the 50 yard line with an empty seat next to him. A guy asked him why the seat was empty and he replied that it was his wife's seat, and that she had passed away and this was the first time in over 50 years that she wasn't there with him.

The guy then asked the elderly gentleman why he didn't bring a friend or relative to attend the game with him. The elderly gentleman replied that he had asked everyone he knew, but no one was available. He wasn't sure, but he figured they all had gone to the funeral.

 

[dreadnut]

Guy is golfing with his wife. He hits a shot that lands behind a barn. Wife says "look, honey, this isn't out of bounds - you can blast it right through the open barn doors and on to the green." Guy hauls back and hits the ball perfectly; it flies halfway through the barn, hits a rafter, bounces straight back, hits his wife in the head and kills her.

Needless to say, he doesn't golf again for a long while. Finally his buddies get him out on the course again. Same hole, same shot, behing the barn. His buddy says "Look, you can hit the ball right through the barn doors and on to the green." Guy says "What are you, crazy? Last time I did that on this hole I got a ten."