Ocean of Beer

Two guys adrift in a boat. One finds an old bottle beneath some rags under the bow. Jokingly he rubs the bottle. Lo and behold a genie appears. "I can only grant you won wish today", said the genie.

One guy blurts out, "make the ocean beer". With a wave of one arm the genie turns the ocean into beer and vanishes.

"Oh great", said the other. "Now we have to pee in the boat".


Peace

A Roman walks in a bar, and holds up two fingers, and says.."Give me five beers".

A baby seal walks into a club...

Bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here".

Time traveler walks into a bar.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this - a joke?"

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The Bartender says "Hey, we don't serve minors here!" so Eb leaves while C and G have a fifth between them.

Guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a couple of drinks. Starts to feel pretty good.

He looks around and there are a couple of very large women a few seats down from him and they are having a loud, animated conversation. After a few moments, he notices that their speech is accented.

He walks up to them and asks, "Excuse me but are you ladies from Ireland?"

One looks at him and says, "It's Wales, you bloody twit!"

He apologetically responds, "Excuse me! My mistake. No offense intended!"

He tries again, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"



Last he remembered for awhile.

LOL, perfect.