Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Fishing channel vs, porn channel

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
    Posts
    4

    Fishing channel vs, porn channel

    An old fart was sitting in the lazy boy with the TV remote, flipping back and forth between the fishing channel and the porn channel. His wife came in, watched him for a few minutes, and then said "Pa, you better leave that on the porn channel, don't you think?" He said "how come, Ma??" To which she replied "Well....you already know how to fish".....
    2014 Guild Starfire lll
    Gretsch Electromatic
    US Strat - Bill Lawrence "Keystone" pu's
    Squire tele - Bill Lawrence "Keystone" pu's
    US Peavey "Reactor Ax" - stock, original
    US Peavey "Reactor Ax" - Kinman pu's
    Jackson "Blackjack" Pedal Steel
    Cox "Kentucky Five" 5-string Banjo
    Hensel "Minerva" pre war small-body acoustic
    2017 Seagull acoustic with "Fishman" electronics
    Custom-made "Reese" Dobro
    Custom-made violin
    Old German re-built violin

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    806
    Funny! O.k., I've got one:

    At a bar in New York City, the bartender was so sure that he was the strongest man around that he offered a standing $1,000 bet.

    The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to the patron. Anyone who could squeeze two more drops of juice out of it, would win the money.

    Over the years, many people had tried . . . weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody had ever been able to do it.

    One day, a scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit.

    He sat down, ordered a glass of beer, and started looking around the bar. After reading the sign on the wall about the lemon challenge, he said in a small voice, "I was just reading your sign, and I'd like to try the bet."

    After the laughter had died down, the bartender said "Ok".

    He grabbed a lemon and squeezed all the juice he could out of it, then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow.

    But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

    As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the guy his $1,000, and then asked, "Do you mind if I ask what do you do for a living? Are you a lumber jack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

    The little fellow quietly replied:

    "I work for the Internal Revenue Service!"
    Last edited by Sal; 01-29-2018 at 02:27 PM.
    1960 F40 SB
    1969 Mark I
    1978 D25
    GAD 4N
    Fender/Gibson/Martin/Teisco Del Rey

    https://soundcloud.com/sal-inski

  3. #3
    Senior Member walrus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    10,734
    Sal, even as my deductions grow up and move away, that is still funny!

    walrus
    1984 Guild D64
    2008 PRS Hollowbody Spruce

  4. #4
    Whats the German word for bra??? . . . In Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice... Keepsumfromfloppin.

    Ralph

  5. #5
    Senior Member jcwu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    2,737
    Quote Originally Posted by F312 View Post
    Whats the German word for bra??? . . . In Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice... Keepsumfromfloppin.

    Ralph
    Sounds more like something from the shelving section of Ikea. I hear they've got nice racks.
    T100 Mod Adventures!

    Old tunes written and recorded in good ol' college days.

    '95 DV52
    '94 JV52
    '93 F4CE
    '77 CE100D
    '58 T-100
    '57 T-100

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jeff_L's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Northeastern PA
    Posts
    402
    Quote Originally Posted by F312 View Post
    Whats the German word for bra??? . . . In Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice... Keepsumfromfloppin.

    Ralph
    In my part of the world it is "Stoppenzefromfloppen".
    Where my money has gone:

    Guld F-47K - A one-of-a-kind beauty!
    Guild F50R
    Guild X-170
    Guild B4E Bass
    Goodall RCJ/Adi

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff_L View Post
    In my part of the world it is "Stoppenzefromfloppen".
    I thought it was a supporter of athletics.

    ' Strang
    GUILD:1976 F-112
    2001 F-212XL
    1978 G-312
    1990 JF-65 12
    1990 F-512
    TAYLOR: 2002 614 LTD
    2003 600 SPECce 12
    2004 855ce
    2004 855ce all koa
    5 Gibsons, a Goya and a Martin

  8. #8
    Hello

    This one is for whole family. . .

    There is this finnish song - men are in woods cutting trees and living in a cabin - every evening they hear Kalle sigh in a corner - "Wish I had a violin" - they think it would be nice if Kalle would entertain them after long day in the woods - so they secretly collect money and send one man to town to get a violin - that night they eagerly wait what will come of it - they hear Kalle sigh : "Wish I could play"
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - used to have Artist Award and Starfire
    Present guitars - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - all bought new - B30SB fretless and RED Songbird bought secondhand - Schecter Startocaster - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    North Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,949
    Nice! ...but I bet its better in Suomi...
    Collings D2H (Austin)
    Fender Champion 600
    Fender Excelsior
    Fender Jaguar (Mexico)
    Fender Tremolux (BF White Tolex)
    Guild 66-J amplifier (Hoboken)
    Guild D-55 (New Hartford)
    Guild Starfire-4 (Westerly)
    Huss & Dalton DS Custom (Staunton)
    Line 6 Pocket Pod

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •