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Thread: Finnish sense of humor

  1. #11
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  2. #12
    Time for next one




    LAPSENVAHTINA = babysitting

    L JT LASTA YKSIN KUUMAAN AUTOON = do not leave a child alone in hot car

    MIST MIN LYDN SILLE KAVERIN? = Where do I find a friend for him?
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  3. #13
    These are great Nuuska...thanks for taking the time to share them with us...and translate, where needed.

    The 'market' one is great...no translation necessary...and in the style of the Quebecois 'play on words' visual humour, as well, for our neighbours north of the border.

    Only goes to show that we are far more alike than different.

  4. #14
    Back again - found this in "usual source" - I was on a finnish website reading jokes, and there were some in english - thought to share them, in case you never heard them before.



    How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?

    Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough Kossu (vodka) until the room starts spinning.

    OR

    (based on the fact that 'all' Finns are engineers) None. They fix the old one.


    Drinking

    Sakke and Ville are sitting in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. They've been drinking for three days straight and they finally run out of booze.

    Sakke says to his mate "Hey, go and look in the tool shed and see if there's anything to drink there."

    Ville comes back with a bottle of methanol, and says "We could drink this, but we'll go blind!"

    Sakke slowly looks around the cottage and out the window, and says "I think we've seen enough."


    Small talk

    (N.B. Finland, with its extremely high level of education, never ceases to amaze me - have you ever met a Finn who can count to one?!)

    Mika and Peppe hadn't seen each other for ages, so they decided to get together for "one" beer. At the end of the first pint Peppe says "How have you been?" Mika just grunts in reply.

    At the end of the second pint Peppe asks "So how's your family?" Again, Mika just grunts in reply.

    After three pints Peppe asks "How's work going?" Mika suddenly stands up and shouts
    "P*rkele! Did we come here to talk or drink?!"


    The Moon

    Why are there no Finns on the moon?

    They went, but there was no wood.


    Finnish soldier

    A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked

    "When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"

    "I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.

    The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.

    "After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"

    "I screwed her again," he answered.

    The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.

    "Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"

    "I took off my skis and had a beer."


    Finnish weather explained

    +15C / 59F
    This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
    People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves.
    The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

    +10C / 50F
    The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
    The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

    +5C / 41F
    Italian cars won't start.
    The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

    0C / 32F
    Distilled water freezes.
    The water in the Vanda river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

    -5C / 23F
    People in California almost freeze to death.
    The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

    -10C / 14F
    The Brits start the heat in their houses.
    The Finns start using long sleeves.

    -20C / -4F
    The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
    The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

    -30C / -22F
    People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
    The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

    -40C / -40F
    Paris start cracking in the cold.
    The Finns stand in line at the "grilli-kioski".

    -50C / -58F
    Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
    The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

    -60C / -76F
    Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
    The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

    -70C / -94F
    The false Santa moves south.
    The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.
    The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

    -183C / -297.4F
    Microbes in food don't survive.
    The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

    -273C / -459.4F
    All atom-based movent halts.
    The Finns start saying "P*rkele, it's cold outside today."

    -300C / -508F
    Hell freezes over.
    Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.




    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  5. #15
    And in good Scandinavian spirit two swedish jokes . . .


    Construction workers

    Three construction workers, an Australian, a Finn and a Swede, are sitting on a beam on the tenth floor about to have their lunch.

    The Australian opens his lunch box and says "Bloody hell - meat pies again! Every day it's bloody meat pies! If I get meat pies again tomorrow, I'm going to jump!"

    The Finn opens up his lunch next. "S**tana! Makkara (sausage) again! Always sausages! If I get sausage tomorrow, I'm gonna jump too!"

    The Swede is the last to open up his lunch. "Ah crap - meatballs again! Why always meatballs? If I get meatballs tomorrow, I'm going to jump too!"

    The next day the Aussie opens his lunch box and it's a meat pie... He jumps to his death.

    The Finn opens his lunch box and, yes, it's a sausage. He too jumps to his death.

    The Swede opens his lunch and sadly there's a pile of meatballs, so he jumps too.

    The three widows of the construction workers are talking at the funeral and the Aussie's wife says "I don't understand. I thought my husband loved meat pies! If he didn't want them he should have said something!"

    The Finnish widow says "Same here - I thought my husband wanted sausages! Why didn't he say something?"

    The Swede's widow says, "I don't get it... my husband made his own lunch."



    Technology

    An American, a Finn and a Swede are in the sauna together. Suddenly there is a "beep beep" sound, and the American starts to look at the palm of his hand.

    "What are you doing?" asks the Finn. The American replies

    "This is the latest Motorola technology. I've got my pager embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."

    Then the familiar old Nokia ring tone is heard, and the Finn starts looking at the palm of his hand.

    "What are you doing?" ask the other guys. The Finn replies

    "This is the latest Nokia technology. I've got my mobile phone embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."

    The Swede thinks to himself that he'd better not be outdone by these guys, so he leaves the sauna. In a couple of minutes he returns, and there is toilet paper hanging out of his bum!

    "What the hell is that??" shout the other guys in unison.

    "I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  6. #16
    After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Swedish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.

    Not to be outdone by the Swedes, in the weeks that followed, Norwegian scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in their newspapers read; Norwegian archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Swedes.

    One week later, Finnish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters, Finnish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Finland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology.
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  7. #17
    Funny!!! I've got tears in my eyes.
    Dave


    1989 D25 - 2000 Blues 90 - 2003 S7CE - 2013 DD6RCE
    '96 Taylor 555 - ''07 Martin D-18VE - '10 Jacobs Jagcaster - '13 Martin 000-28EC - 13 G&L Tribute JB2 - '17 Jacobs Strat
    Dr. Z Cure - Fender Super Champ - Fishman Loudbox Mini - SWR 2X10C


    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... ID=1018446

  8. #18
    Super Moderator fronobulax's Avatar
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    Thank you. I especially appreciate the comments about Finnish culture.
    Quote Originally Posted by mgod View Post
    What he said.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stuball48 View Post
    Frono: You are correct----again.

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  9. #19
    Super Moderator Default's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laughter!
    "Steve, you are a man of many goats."~ capnjuan

    "Alternatively, you could just go the ultra-relic route with it. Basically go for a look that says the amp was on fire and they put it out using belt sanders."
    (amps - I need a "99" & "50")

  10. #20
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    Good stuff, Nuuska . . . I shall not complain about today's cool, damp weather here in New England.
    several Guilds, one Gretsch, one Taylor, & a Squire CV tele

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