I've heard about those 'planes with doors in them.
Here, our planes have a big old engine up the front, and we just climb in and out of them.
The emissions and aural pollution these things cause to our pristine environment, has been a very contentious isuue here lately.
So much so, that one of our most eminent lateral-thinkers has come up with a most innovative plan to do away with them.
You may have read in one of my long-ago postings that our district is the coal mining capital of N.Z.
Around here, there are miles and miles of old, disused mining tunnels beneath us.
This brilliant fellow has come up with a breath-taking plan to re-orientate, and join together all the old tunnels so that they reach Christchurch, our nearest city. Quite a task; many would have to be shifted more than 90 degrees from their present orientations.
Tourists would then access the West Coast via the tunnel.
I would, at this juncture, like to report a disquieting event that has occurred in our district, where we often struggle to attract and retain doctors and medical staff.
It has been reported in our newspaper that our region's only gynaecologist has been forced into early retirement, suffering from tunnel-vision. Kind of two connected events.
BUT. The truly innovative part of the plan, is the fact that the tunnel would be constructed sloping downward from coast to coast IN BOTH DIRECTIONS !!
So the proposal is that a light-alloy "train" would freewheel from coast to coast with no need of any motive power ! Speed would be governed by an as-yet, highly secret electro-magnetic device.
The plan of course, is contingent upon a large team of qualified labour being available for its implementation
Fortunately, our Olympic pool and Greymouth Hilton projects are both nearing completion, and construction should commence within the next six months.
