Yeah, I got one.
I've been trying to grow some of our own food for a few years now, generally met with fails but I keep trying. (As an explanation, yes, I live on a farm but I grew up in a small town and never tried to grow anything until the last few years so all in all I'm relatively new at this.)
This year I decided to try the three sisters garden so I ordered heirloom non-GMO seeds for a small plot of corn, beans, and melons - both watermelon and cantaloupe. The melons in lieu the traditional squash.
So, I have three 50 to 60 foot rows of two kinds of corn, Stowell's Evergreen sweet corn on one end and Kentucky Rainbow dent corn on the other. Alabama blackeye limas cllimbing the sweet corn and Chinese Red noodle beans running up the dent corn. Florida Giant and Carolina Cross watermelons, along with cantaloupe and a honeydew (can't remember the names) in the fourth row, vines sprawling into the corn, and in every other direction, too. (It's true, watermelons really do take a lot of space.)
When a storm came through some weeks back and laid all the corn on the ground, including husband's entire field of Silver Queen sweet corn, I went out and set each and every one of my stalks back up, scraped and packed dirt around the roots to hold them up. By hand.
I kept it virtually weed free, pulling weeds by hand, or using a stirrup hoe to cut them off. My little patch was a sight to behold!
Then finally! The corn has ears getting almost ready. I pulled a sweet corn ear yesterday to see how close to ready it was. It was still immature, the kernels needed to fill out, but I ate it raw and it was sweet and delicious, certainly looking forward to more!
Last night I took the dog out at about midnight. We generally go out to the garden, and all was well. Then.
This morning I took the dog out, again back to the garden, and all was not well. A number of the stalks were on the ground. They weren't like that yesterday. Did they get top heavy?
No.
The young corn was pulled off and half eaten, and the watermelon vines had been trampled by the vermin.
I didn't see any tracks, but signature work of raccoons!
I was livid! I knew they will be back tonight and we'll never see a single ear of corn so I pulled every stinkin' ear off of every stinkin' stalk. We won't get any anyway but they sure won't get anymore.
I came to the house and told my husband I want a gun! A big gun! With a laser sight because I'm going to kill each and every one of them! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
I don't mean any offense to those who might side with the wildlife, but in my world they are pure evil encased in fur. And there are too d**n many of them.
I ranted for a while, and then I cried. And I'm still crying. I worked so hard just trying to grow a little bit of fresh produce and this time it looked like I might have a bit of success.
I was very mad. Now I'm just very sad.
Excuse me, I need more tissues.
Edit: To clarify, the tears were not from loss of corn but from six years of food growing attempts that didn't grow much food, a feeling of defeat after trying so hard. I'll try again. Maybe next go round will be better.
Thanks for listening.