Regrets

[Guildedagain]

It looks like I'm not going to have any.

The 1st one is "I wish I hadn't worked so hard", and I have a lazy streak a mile wide so I'm ok there, the 2nd is "I wish I'd expressed my feelings more", and as a [failure as] an Anger Management Class graduate, I think I've done ok there too, in fact my mouth sometimes says things I haven't even thought yet.

And finally, "I wish I'd allowed myself to be happier" and after spending $100k on music gear in the last 20 years, I really did pretty well there too.

The 5 Most Common Regrets of the Dying—and What We Can Learn From Them

Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse and bestselling author, shares the five most common regrets of the dying—and her advice on how to live a life full of happiness and joy.

getpocket.com

 

[Default]

Sometimes it's hard to smell the roses, when you are right in the middle of a fistfight. You have to give yourself some grace, in that you did the best you could, in the situation you were in, with the information you had at the time.

 

[WaltW]

It looks like I'm not going to have any.

The 1st one is "I wish I hadn't worked so hard", and I have a lazy streak a mile wide so I'm ok there, the 2nd is "I wish I'd expressed my feelings more", and as a [failure as] an Anger Management Class graduate, I think I've done ok there too, in fact my mouth sometimes says things I haven't even thought yet.

And finally, "I wish I'd allowed myself to be happier" and after spending $100k on music gear in the last 20 years, I really did pretty well there too.

I've learned over the past 15 years that " I shouldn't spend much time looking back at my past." I do it in the proportion based on the size of the windshield of my car compared with the rear view mirror. I also have learned to "give up all hope of a better past!" I focus my energy these days on doing what I want to do not necessarily what I need to do. I spent 50 years doing what I needed to do, much of it begrudgingly, denying myself much pleasure, so, at this point I'm doing many of the things I didn't do. I travel 3-4 times a year, garden, purchase and play guitars, love my wife and family with all of the passion I still have.
In general, enjoy the remainder of my time on this plain of existence. There is only NOW....no guarantee of tomorrow!

 

[RBSinTo]

Since I can't remember where I left the ignition key to my Time Machine, stewing over regrets for past behaviour is a waste.
It changes nothing.
Doing better in the present and future is much more productive.
RBSinTo

 

[walrus]

Interesting article. I guess I have a few regrets, but all are very minor in the overall scheme of things. I'm pretty content with how I have lived my life and the plans I have for the remainder of it.

 

[Westerly Wood]

Sadly, I have several big ones, but none I am comfortable sharing. Age and my faith in God help to lessen the pain or resurgence of tough mental tapes spinning, but I hope I have very few when I am nearing the end.

 

[Stuball48]

If I knew how, I would post the song, "I'd a done a lot of things different" by John Conlee. It will make you think.

 

[Opsimath]

 

[Stuball48]

Thank you Cynthia

 

[Opsimath]

Thank you Cynthia

You're very welcome.

 

[tonepoet]

From that list of 5, I don't think I have too much to regret, as I approach 68.

#1) I Wish I’d Lived a Life True to Myself, Not the Life Others Expected of Me​

My folks pretty much let my brothers and I guide our own adult lives. Dad's rule pretty much was 1) Keep employed and 2) Stay out of jail.
(My wife said: Hey, that makes your Dad look bad. And, yes, there was certainly more to that with my Dad. He had a work ethic that I think I acquired from him.)

#2) I Wish I Hadn’t Worked so Hard​

The point in the article is the workaholics who feel completely empty after they retire. I don't feel that because there was always Art for me and there still is... music, writing, painting.

#3) I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Express My Feelings​

I would say that this was more true of me when I was younger. I was very shy and socially awkward as a teenager.

#4) I Wish I Had Stayed in Touch With My Friends​

Yeah, this one I have felt. I had the experience a few months ago of wondering what an old friend was up to now, plugged his name into Google and found his obituary... dammit!!

#5) I Wish I Had Allowed Myself to Be Happier​

I would say I've gotten better with that as I have aged. Like when I was 57 and thought to myself, I have never had a drum set and I want to learn to play drums as a "bucket list" item. And I went out and bought a used drum set and sat behind it and figured it out. In fact, I'm going to get behind my drum set shortly and find a little more happiness there today!!